• Joy Boyd

Are You Too Forgiving Too Soon?

If you're anything like me, you don't like apologizing if you don't feel wrong. (Yes, I'm stubborn. Admitting it is the first step.) But whether an apology is given or not, the real accomplishment comes from forgiveness.

Forgiveness almost seems like a forbidden topic outside of the church, but let me tell you, that is not the only place it needs to be discussed. Like a lot of things in life, the act of forgiving is easier said than done. It may be simple to some but a life long practice for others.

I have recently started my path to forgiveness and one of the first major lessons I've learned is speed is not helpful here. You can't physically or emotionally forgive sooner than the process takes. Be gentle with yourself because harsh mental states are still going to come through. For example, anger and sadness are necessary but they should not over stay their welcome. Allow your spirit to feel these feelings, but ultimately decide to live your life in forgiveness.

Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Don't wait for the apology that you may never receive. If you are a grudge holder, recognize that so you'll know the best way to proceed. Animosity is all about power. Gripping onto it always does more harm than good.

Now, this shouldn't be a shock to you, but self forgiveness is probably the most difficult kind. We all know people who are extremely good at beating themselves up. Understanding yourself is about patience and our fast pace society does not have this in mind. Create patience for yourself and force the world to follow.

If you want freedom from your past, it starts with forgiveness. Letting go is liberation for your inner child and you will begin to see the inarguable impact your particular forgiveness has on those around you.

In retrospect, you never know what someone is going through. I may hold it together well, (this is debatable) but it takes constant care. That being said, I'll leave you with my personal mantra, which is really just a lineup of words because I'm good at making lists. I repeat this to myself during morning yoga/meditation and whenever else I feel I need to breathe a little deeper.

Thank you for peace, love, grace, joy and healing.

Thank you for strength, courage, humility and guidance.

Thank you for hope, faith, compassion and protection.

Thank you for growth.

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